Pass

The world is a tough place to live in.. day in day out, only 24 hours. Yet some are paupers and some are multi millionaires, some lived to a hundred yet some barely saw sunlight.

Everyday when we wake up in the morning, just what is the first thought that rushes to the mind? Is it the dreadful feeling that threatens to drag your whole day? Or is it with a prayer to God, thanking Him for another day?

Sometimes I look at my life, both of my past and those yet to come and I asked myself, 'Just why am I here?' There are times when I wished I was not born, like now when faced with a out-of-this-world stress that I dissipate ocassionally on my blog. But again, there are times when I just feel like yelling, telling the whole world that I would never want my life any other way. It is a constant battle I am fighting.

When the questions people ask themselves are 'what should I wear today?' or 'is my pimple noticeable?', I can only pity them, for they do not know real questions. Questions that they will never be able to answer with confidence because for them, material world is their only known living space. Spiritual world exists only when troubles come knocking on the door.

I am typing all these down not because I am feeling weak, or feeble, or timid or insane but instead I am typing this because I left today feeling strong, and confident, and proud of who I am. Absolutely no one can tell me what I should or should not do. No one can push me around, because I will rise, like I have risen today.

Once I heard of a challenge..

" Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstances, in every place and in every time. Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me. Tell me is there any mantra?"

Indeed there is..

This too will pass.

Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent. They all come and pass away. Life just passes away.

There is nothing permanent in this world. Every thing changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks , all defeats and all sorrows. All have passed away. If there are problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever. Joy and sorrow are the two faces of the same coin. They both will pass away.

Who are you in reality? Know your real face. Your face is not your true face. It will change with the time. However, there is something in you, which will not change. It will remain unchanged. What is that unchangeable? It is nothing but your true self.

Tears

All tears II - mental

Tears..
a silvery drop..
contained in it,
a spectrum of different emotions.

Tears..
the taste..
serves to remind,
that life is not always sweet.

Tears..
wet..
just like the rain brings life,
tears bring hope.

Beyonce Knowles: Listen

If you have a moment, stop. Look at the lyrics, appreciate the lyrics. Everyone could relate this in one way or another.

***

Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete

Listen,
To the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release

Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....

[Chorus]
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago

Ohh I'm free now and my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't
Listen...

[Chorus]

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't....
If you won't....

LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete

Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my ownn...

Didn't actually think that I'll be wearing no.4 so soon.


Mobilisation today.. a dreadful one at that. Came at around 3+ but only got released at around 8+. But it's great to see everyone back.. well not exactly everyone. Got to talk about the Army all over again, see old faces of the men. Deja vu.. Haha.

As usual, we rushed to wait and it was a long wait indeed. Had to cancel my primary school gathering for this idiotic mobilisation. And they still got the nerve to ask the medics to be marshallers. But at the least the new RSM is nice.. well, maybe because we are reservists.

CO was there, S3 and S2 were there. RSM was there too. Haha..but thank goodness it's over now. As I would have said.. No more nonsense.

***

On the way home, met my sec sch fren. How shock he was when he saw me wearing my no.4. Chatted on the bus about the good ol days. I miss sec school days..

***

Tell me of past days.

Remind me of fond memories.

Return me back to those days.

So that they lasts eternities.

Stupid report

Can't believe I actually ran to submit my lab report today..

For some reason or another, the clock is always one step ahead of me.. and when Murphy's Law kicks in, I'm destined for doom..

I had to submit the report by noon today..

1050..
left house
waited for the damn bus for 10 minutes.. argh..

1115..
inside the MRT
looking at the time (wishing time could slow down just for me)

1130..
waited for 95
OMG.. I'm so gonna be late..

1140..
I had to try the Med Lib.. bad idea.. all the comps were taken..
5 minute wasted.. dang!

1150..
bumped into David while on the way to Sci Lib..
rushed to CBLC..

1155..
sent my print job..
but someone had to print double sided and slow me down..

1200..
Ya.. I know I'm late..
left my stuff with David and made a dash for the lab..

1205..
OMG.. wrong lab.. not MD4.. that's LSM 1102
it's MD7.. LSM1101..

1207..
feeling sweaty and all.. I dumped the report together with the rest..
from the look of it, no one knows that I sent it late..

Please.. don't ever scare yourself like that again..

'Brick'

While on the bus ride home from school with Su today, we were interrupted by a lady..

"I can't help it but to hear what you were talking about. It takes two to tango.. and it takes one to clap. Personally I don't agree and I only realised it only at the age of 64. I think it's best to hit it with a 'brick' of silence."

I hate to admit it but I have to agree with the stranger.

Hit it with a 'brick' silence..

What do you suppose I'm doing now?

Happy Birthday to Me

19th.. 1st day of celebration..
So not fair because I was down with flu.. but nonetheless managed to go out with Su. Got some presents from her. Yea.. so nice.. though some gifts were hilarious.. and I simply adore the shirt and the cookies were delicious. So cool.. a tattoo on my shirt. Haha.. must be the coffee I drank.. wait a minute.. vanilla latte.. oh ya.. still coffee.

Thanks a tonne Su!

Hehe..


20th.. 2nd day of celebration..
Chalet again.. but this time at Pasir Ris.. more charred food. Haha.. it's great to see everyone again.. though no bowling this time, just food, food and more food. Wishes from my aunts and uncles and cousins too. 'Thank you' just wasn't enough to express my gratitude.

And I got a nice cake too.. Oreo-mitsu.. how 'creative'. Haha..

22 years old, 5 candles.. weird huh?

21st.. the 'day'..
I'm officially 22.. a year older than last year.
Chilled out with Eug and Yi Hua today.. got dinner and movie treat from them.. and we got to watch Pan's Labyrinth, a spanish film during the 1940s. It was weird as the story revolves more around the real world than the fantasy world which got me confused as to the genre of the movie. But hey, the movie was kind of interesting; no elaborate props were used, the repeated use of the theme was just stunning and the storyline was original. I can see why the movie got a rating of 4.5. And the ending nearly got me crying.. the mixed feeling was ooo.. so precious.
Haha.. then we hang out at Coffee Bean, got high on coffee and waste the night away.



To everyone who wished me, spoken or not, I truly appreciate it and treasure it.

Age is just a number.. of very little significance. It's how you feel about yourself that counts. That number only you yourself knows is the only age that matters because ultimately it's the soul that lives.. not the body.

Ugly Betty

I am desperately browsing through my playlist, hoping to find a song that will match the mood and feeling I'm experiencing now..

I didn't find any..

Just what am I feeling?

***

Fear I must face,
or forever be damned in this race.

4 stars

Went to the other side or NUS, or rather the Bukit Timah Campus today after school. It looks like a resort, tucked along Bukit Timah Road with the lush greens of Botanical Garden nearby and the serenity of the entire place. No busses or students running around to get to lecture theatres here. A perfect place to study or just take in the fresh air and get away from the hustle and bustle of normal school though one cannot escape hints of it.

And there wasn't any posters pasted along the corridors or on the floor though there was a few inside the lift. Totally welcomed the clean look.

Ha.. while waiting for Su to finish her lesson, I spent time in the library, enjoying the peace and quiet of the place while attempting to do my tutorials. But eventually the zzz monster caught up to me.. Hehe..

Didn't managed to explore the entire vicinity though.. Ha.. sounds like I'm doing a Travel & Living documentary.. But really, BTC is such a nice place to be at..

Big Question

Photo by ace-of-Finland

How will I know when I've reached the end?
Will there be signs telling me?

How can I go forward when you're pulling me back?
Or am I the one pulling you?

How can I wipe away your tears?
My hands are tied behind my back.

How can I trust you?
When at times I don't even trust myself.

I asked myself.. and I never got answers..

Thinking like a Scientist

"If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants."

During the first freshmen sem lesson, Dr Roland introduces us to this quote by Sir Isaac Newton. When asked our opinion as to the meaning of the quote, some gave remarks that he was humble, he credited those who helped him and others. But generally we thought that Newton was a fine gentleman who contributed a lot to Science.

But we were definitely wrong.. so wrong it turned out to be.

You see.. back in his days, Robert Hooke accused Newton of 'stealing' his intellectual property pertaining laws of gravity. This got Newton fed up (who wouldn't be) apparently and it turned out Newton was witty too.

Well, where does the quote come in? What people don't know, is that Robert Hooke was a short man. 'Vertically challenged' as one might say. So yeah, Newton's remark was the ultimate sarcasm hurled at Hooke.

So lesson learnt today is never take a quote by face-value.. as seen above. Haha.. I think Freshman Seminar module is going to be fun.. 3 reports, 3 presentations..

I really don't want to blog about it.

I just want to say that I'm tired of pretending that everything is okay.

Today I was hurt by silence..

Section dinner

Section dinner today at VivoCity. Planned to have one during the sem break but had to postponed it all the way until today. So we headed to Fig & Olive for dinner with Edna, Yokes and Chang Yung.



Actually we took pictures of the food but to save some people from salivating excessively (like myself), I shall put the least appetising of them all.



But while waitng, itchy fingers Edna decided she wanted to play with salt, or rather create a masterpiece..



Then we had cakes.. to celebrate Edna's belated birthday and my advance one.. hehe..
The chocolate banana cake is simply heavenly.. though it packs tonnes of calories..





Then we had fun at Daiso, trying on stuff, making a fool of ourselves.. and just have lots of rofl moments.







Then we chilled out at the deck of Vivo, enjoying the cool breeze and the quiet night. Enjoyed the view of Sentosa, watched the changing lights of the cable cars and the company of my sections.. Had a great night.. and by the time I reached home, it was already midnight. Ha.. well, got to go catch some sleep.. lecture at 8 tomorrow.. or rather later..

Same old brand new ME

It feels good to be back again..

I miss the sound of the alarm clock.. and the 30 minutes snoozing allowance I give myself.

I miss how some people push and shove when entering the MRT train and how some people love to lean on the poles, how inconsiderate.

I miss the feeling of finding a class on the first day, which block to go to, which level, and when level 3 in one block is a level 5 of another, it totally messes me up.

I miss the Science library and how the queue for printing is always long when I need my stuff pronto.

I miss the canteen food; cheap and measly portion is what they specialised in.

I miss the shuttle bus ride during lunch hour; die-die must get on, uncle driving like bullet train and the ocassional bump on a friend.

I miss Yat's antics on how some student behave; coming late into lecture with a smirk, a whole row of candy-passing girls, people who just dresses bad, people gyrating their heads when they fall asleep during lecture and people like us who observe other people during lecture.

I miss how weird some lessons are; odd weeks for the first 4 weeks and every week after, tutorials immediately after lecture, labs that are 4 hours long and tutorials from 6 - 7pm.

I miss how workload exponentially increases week after week; waiting to bid for tutorials, term paper, projects, lab reports, presentations and exams.

I miss the super tired feeling upon returning from school, even though the day is short. Afternoon nap revitalises the body..

The best is yet to come.

The life..

Guess today was the last time I had fun before sem starts and everybody is once again preoccupied with tutorials, projects and datelines.

Finalised modules this semester:
LSM1101 - Biochemistry of Biomolecules
LSM1102 - Molecular Genetics
SP1201 - Freshman Seminar (Thinking Like a Scientist)
GEK1521 - Physics in the Life Science
LAC1201 - Chinese 1

Nice guy graduate last

If only life was this sweet..

Caught School for Scoundrels today with Su. The show was good, the storyline was simple to follow, good laughs but the best has got to be the twist. So unexpected it was till some of the audience gasped.. including me. And Sarah Silverman got me laughing.. she kinda reminds me of Fran Drescha.. or Janice. Haha..

Suddenly realise there's no poster for the movie.. didn't see any of them..

Well, another busy day tomorrow.. with interview and bidding.. just waiting for sem to start..

Tiring day... long day in fact..

Badminton.. 2.5 hours.. sweat it out!..

Lundin at Botak Jones.. Fish and Chips.. gigantic portion.. share when you eat there..

Band prac.. feeling puky from the food.. still can't get the running notes..

Got the 2 mods.. big hooray.. 1 more to bid on..

Damn tired now.. gym tomorrow.. guess it's time to hit the sack..

STOP!

I was happily browsing for Stephen King's books when I told myself..

What happened to Me that loves to find out about life?
What happened to Me that wakes up greeting the world with a smile?
What happened to Me that wakes up thanking God for another day?

Then I found a book..

The meaning of life.. not I do not know the meaning of life, but I just want to check if I'm on the right path. Guess I'm now way off from where my intended route is.

And so I was flipping the book, admiring the pictures of animals that perfectly complemented the words that followed..
I came to realised that many people do not know the meaning of life. Indeed there are more than one reason to life but not having one at all is like having an empty soul; it has nothing to feed on.

__
Why do we feel drawn together as a species, yet we steadily build up defensive barriers around our innermost feelings and beliefs so we can never be truly close to anyone?

We all have filters on, so we mostly see only what we want to see. When you finally open your eyes, you may be shocked at the obscured way you have been viewing the world to suit your own little plans. With those filters removed, you can take a closer look into yourself and ask objective questions about the universe and your place in it. In other words, investigate the meaning of life.

The only theme that resonates throughout the numerous popular life theories is love. Love, in all its fragile forms, is the one powerful, enduring force that brings real meaning to our everyday lives. It's well documented that a broken heart feels far more painful than squeezing lemon juice over a deep paper cut.
But the love I mean is the fire that burns inside us all, the inner warmth that prevents our soul from freezing in the winters of despair. It's the love of life itself. It's the voice that says "Celebrate life, be creative!" It brings with it the passion and understanding that some things in life are worth dying for, but there is so much more worth living for. This love of life leads us to help others simply because it feels great to contribute to those around us.

__

It always intrigue me how the answers are in us all the time but due to some reason or another, we refuse to acknowledge what our heart is telling us even though we know it is right. Maybe what we need is the occasional push to drive us forward, to keep reminding us as to why we live.

To remind us the meaning of life

Chalet..

Just got back from chalet.. had an awesome time there with great food, great company and great games.. arcade, bowling (got my very first strike), air hockey. A nice way to start the new year.

The 'sacrifice'

Yummy!

Come and get it

Ain't she just adorable?

Nice stairwell

Tiada yang terlewat, semua masih ada harapan

Found this wonderful article while reading BM. I guess positive thinking still has a place in the world..

Islam mahu umatnya bersikap positif dalam hidup. Oleh kerana itu umat Islam disuruh bersabar dan cekal ketika dilanda ujian.

Lebih daripada itu, mereka juga disuruh bersangka baik terhadap Allah swt dan menganggap ujian yang menimpa mempunyai banyak kebaikan untuk kehidupan mereka.

Dengan sikap positif seperti itu umat Islam mencapai kebaikan di dunia dan akhirat.

Dalam surah Az-Zumar ayat 10 Allah swt berfirman yang maksudnya: "Sesungguhnya Allah mengganjari mereka yang bersabar dengan ganjaran yang banyak yang tidak dapat dihitung."

Kita juga menyedari bahawa dunia adalah tempat ujian dan tribulasi dan syurga ialah tempat kesenagan yang abadi.

Justeru umat Islam bersedia untuk bersabar dengan segala ujian di dunia.

Pada masa yang sama, mereka akan berusaha dengan bersungguh-sungguh untuk mencapai matlamat yang diidamkan.

Dalam surah al-Baqarah ayat 155 Allah swt berfirman yang maksudnya:
"Sesungguhnya Kami oasti mengujimu dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa dan buah-buahan. Dan berikanlah berita gembira kepada mereka yang bersabar."

Walau bagaimanapun ujian yang menimpa, ia tidak akan berterusan selama-lamanya. Ia hanyalah merupakan satu proses pendidikan dan pembangunan diri yang diperlukan sebelum kejayaan dan kemenangan dicapai.

Inilah yang dijanjikan Allah swt dalam surah As-Syarh ayat 5 hingga 6 yang bermaksud:
"Sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kesenangan."

Hal ini diperkukuhkan lagi melalui sabda Rasulullah yang diriwayatkan Imam Tarmizi, yang bermaksud:
"Sesungguhnya kejayaan bersama-sama dengan kesabaran, kelapangan bersama-sama dengan kesusahan dan sesungguhnya kepayahan berserta dengan kesenangan. Tambahan daripada itu adalah ujian menggugurkan dosa."

Dalam sebuah hadis yang diriwayatkan Bekhari dan Muslim, Baginda bersabda (maksudnya):
"Tidak ada satu pun musibah yang menimpa seseorang Muslim, sama ada kepenatan, sakit yang kronik, kerisauan, kesedihan, sebarang kesakitan dan kemurungan, sehingga duri yang terkena badannya, melainkan ia akan menjadi kifarat baginya daripada dosa-dosa."

Hal itu bukanlah suatu yang pelik jika umat Islam berterima kasih serta bersyukur kepada Allah apabila sesuatu ujian menimpa mereka.

Berhubung dengan ini, Omar Al-Khattab pernah berkata: "Jika aku mendapat ujian duniawi aku bersyukur kerana terdapat padanya empat nikmat. Pertama, ujian itu tidak berkaitan dengan agama. Kedua, ia tidak begitu besar berbanding ujian agama. Ketiga, aku akan mendapat keredaannya dengan ujian itu dan keempat aku mengharapkan pahala daripadanya."

Inilah fikiran positif yang hebat lagi mengagumkan.

Ketika Islam disebarkan ke Kota Taif, sambutan mereka terhadap seruan Nabi amat dingin.

Hamba-hamba serta kanak-kanak dari kalangan Bani Thaqif melontari Baginda dengan batu sehingga berdarah kepala serta kaki Rasulullah.

Lalu Nabi bermunajat kepada Allah. Menikut Imam Muslim, ketika itu datang malaikat penjaga gunung meminta izin kepada Beginda untuk menimpakan gunung Taif ke atas mereka.

Hasrat malaikat gunung itu dilarang oleh Rasulullah.

Sebaliknya Baginda berkata: "Aku mengharapkan Allah dapat bangkitkan dari kalangan mereka satu generasi yang akan menyembah Allah dan tidak menyekutukan apa-apa pun dengannya."

Inilah sikap positif yang tidak ada tolok bandingannya.

Baginda mendapat kesempatan untuk membalas dendam ke atas Bani Thaqif, namun baginda bersabar dan tidak berputus asa.

Lebih daripada itu baginda berkeyakinan bahawa masa depan mereka cerah.

Tidak mustahil pada suatu hari nanti generasi muda dari kalangan mereka akan memeluk agama Islam.

Pernahkah anda menemui fikiran positif yang lebih hebat daripada itu?

Malah, dalam Islam kita perlu husnulzhon.

Menurut sains pula, fikiran positif akan meningkatkan kesihatan seseorang.

Satu kajian yang dilakukan olek Brigham and Women's Hospital dan Harvard Medical School mendapati bahawa mereka yang optimis mempunyai kehidupan yang lebih sihat lagi ceria.

Para saintis merumuskan hal ini didebabkan oleh sistem pertahanan badan yang menjadi semakin baik dirangsang oleh fikiran yang positif.

Namun majoriti pakar psikologi mengeluarkan teori bahawa sikap positif ini hanya mampu disemai bermula dari kecil, malah agak sukar dididik pada usia pertengahan apatah lagi menjelang senja.

Benar, pepatah Melayu juga ada yang menyatakan melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya.

Namun, menurut Islam tanggapan ini silap.

Saiyidina Umar dulunya merupakan seorang yang terkenal dengan kezaliman dan kekejamannya, namun masih boleh berubah semasa kehadiran Islam.

Dalam agama kita tiada istilah terlewat, semuanya masih ada harapan.