Some personal time

Spent some personal time today at Jurong West library after Friday prayers just now. With a book in my hand, I could easily spend hours on end reading, if the environment is right. With nothing to do all day, reading is probably the most constructive pastime I could indulge in.

And so I borrowed:
Stephen King's Dead Zone,
Foxtrot comics,
and Tip-tip cemerlang daripada Quran.

Pangya

Was surfing the forum and found this video. Funny and informative...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=71F7XgN9PH0

Not a good day

Still aching from yesterday's SOC training, there wasn't much to do today. Spent more than an hour on my ORD entry; comfirming names, recalling dates and memories has never been so hard.

So what did I do today? Well, maple, pangya, tweaked the ORD entry, finally finished learning White Houses on the keyboard, slept the whole afternoon away and watched Final Destination 3 but didn't exactly finish it as the CD was f***ed up. Nothing constructive.

And I think I'm having flu. Oh what the heck!

Hmmm... there's supernanny later so... ya... will be watching.

Too good to be true

Even Yi Hua commented that my blog is depressing according to the past few entries. That's me. Weird as can be...

Today was generally a good day; better than the past few days. Ha... ya.
Good because I felt like a kid again today. Yeah. Woo hoo. Can you say happy children's day?

Went to lunch with Vin at IMM. Found out that Daiso was closed today due to stock-taking. It appears that there were others who were disappointed too.

After making a trip to the library, hearing Vin say that every library looks the same, walking past the old PJC, we made our way to SSC. Ya... Singapore Science Centre. Coincidentally it was one of the place on my list of places to visit after Thailand.

SSC has changed a lot. New exhibitions, new galleries and definitely a new look. And with the SAFRA card we got a 60 cents discount. Wow! And like curious little tykes, we entered to be greeted by rows of students that seemed to be herded like cattles. Put a Mary-bo-peep costume on the teachers and I could have sworn I'm in a nursery rhyme.

Every hole we looked into, every button we pressed, every lever we pulled, every gear we cranked, every spark that flew, every knob we turned, every odour we smelt was intriguing. Wow! Cool! Interesting! Amazing! Ooohhh! Ahhh! Hmmm! Again! Look! Those were our reactions to the exhibits. Apparently some of the kids didn't appreciate it like we did.

It was an interesting day; like going back in time. Yeah... today my imagination ran wild.
Well... a note, tomorrow there's SOC in the morning.

That strikes one out from my list. Just where will I go next? There's still zoo, bird park, sentosa, and crashing in NUS. Oh ya... the BMT section outing hasn't been plan. Yi Hua... wait up!

It's hard to explain.

When my everyday routine is helping mum,
running errands,
facing the computer,
practising on the keyboard,
reading books,
taking naps,
just to pass time.

It's hard to explain.

When I sent 3 mails and only 1 get back,
but that one,
the hope that I'm still holding on,
is slowly slipping.

It's hard to explain.

When all I could do is wait,
wait till ORD,
wait till they reply,
wait till uni starts.

It's hard to explain.

When the present is still here,
collecting dust,
staring,
guilt.

It's hard to explain.

When I keep quiet,
I'm the most comfortable.

It's hard to explain.

When I turn to my BMT mate,
for help.

It's hard to explain.

When I want to say something,
but find myself holding back.
When I want to ask,
but I bit my tongue.
When I want to console,
but my hands are tied.

It's hard to explain.

When I know that I have
to do something,
but the only thing I did,
was drown myself further.

It's hard to explain.

Desperate Housewives: Colour and Light

"Cameras are simple tools designed to capture images.
Images that tell us more about ourselves than we realize.
They remind us of the long journey we’ve taken.
The loved ones who traveled alongside of us.
Those we lost along the way.
And those waiting for us on the road ahead."


"Yes, cameras are tools designed to capture images.
But in truth, they can capture so much more.
They can uncover hidden longing of men who should no longer care.
They can reveal the extraordinary secrets of the most ordinary marriages.
Most amazing of all, cameras can quietly and clearly reveal to us our dreams.
Dreams we didn't even know we had."

Where'd you go?

music video code by urbnmix.net
fort minor - whered u go


"Where'd You Go?"

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once and a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

200th posts...and still counting

Okok nothing to be excited about.
I was reading the news this morning about the Afghan man converting to Christian and how the court is going to execute him unless he regrets. I'm really disturbed by this. I do not deny the fact that Islam is the fastest growing religion but there are still people who converts in and out of the religion.

Well, still on the subject, I searched the web for interesting 'stuffs'.

Viewer descretion is advised.

"And there are, certainly, among the People of the Book [Jews and Christians], those who believe in God, in the revelation to you, and in the revelation to them, bowing in humility to God: They will not sell the Signs of God for a miserable gain! For them is a reward with their Lord, and God is swift in account. (The Noble Quran, 3:199)"

"Not all of them are alike: Of the People of the Book [Jews and Christians] are a portion that stand (For the right): They rehearse the Signs of God all night long, and they prostrate themselves in adoration. They believe in God and the Last Day; they enjoin what is right, and forbid what is wrong; and they hasten (in emulation) in (all) good works: They are in the ranks of the righteous. (The Noble Quran, 3:113-114)"


Say, "If all the humans and all the jinns banded together
in order to produce a Quran like this, they could never
produce anything like it, no matter how much assistance
they lent one another." [17:88]

A very interesting prophecy relates to the moon landing (which occurred in 1969), is it possible The Quran predicted this? Well, judge for yourself by considering the following information – Chapter 54 of The Quran is entitled “The Moon” and starts right away by giving us news about the splitting of the moon as a sign that the end of the world is drawing close.

“The moon has split and the hour has drawn closer” (The Quran, 54:1)

When did the prophecy come to pass?

To answer that, one must keep the prophecy in mind: “The moon has split.” This is a metaphor. Parts of the moon have left its surface. They no longer are part of the moon. So, the prophecy does not refer to the landing on the moon or to the first step made by Neil Armstrong but to the fact that Armstrong and Aldrin collected 21 kilograms of lunar rocks to bring back to earth. The prophecy was fulfilled at the very moment the astronauts left the moon in the lunar module containing 21 kilograms of rocks that had belonged to the moon. This can be confirmed by checking the definition of “split” in any dictionary, among the definitions given by Dictionary.com are – “to divide, disunite, separate”

The date this prophecy came to pass was on July 21 1969. The moment the prophecy was fulfilled is confirmed by the hour of departure of the lunar module, which left the lunar surface at 17:54:1 (Universal Time) or 1:54:1 (EDT) and as you have seen above, verse [54:1] is the verse that deals with the prophecy.

Still not convinced? Lets read the following verses after (54:1) –

“The moon has split and the hour has drawn closer. Then they saw a great miracle; but they turned away and said, “Old magic.” They disbelieved, followed their opinions, and adhered to their old traditions.” (The Quran, from 54:1 to 54:3)

Here, the author of The Quran specifically states – “the moon has split”, then people will see “a great miracle”, yet they still “disbelieved”. Could the “great miracle” be the fulfilment of prophecy?


The Quran has stated (what means): “And of everything We have created pairs that you may take heed.” [Quran 51: 49] When this verse was revealed, the general concept was that male and female pairs existed only among human beings and animals or in some vegetation. However, with the advancement of science the Quranic reality is becoming manifest that male and female pairs exist in everything. In some instances they are termed as male and female, and elsewhere as positive and negative, as electron and proton, or neutron and positron. In another verse, the Quran has also clarified that the occurrence in pairs in many other things is still unknown to people. It says (what means):

“Glorified be He Who created pairs of all things which the earth grows, and of themselves (humans), and of that which they know not.” [Quran 36: 36]

May Allah enable us to recognize and heed the Signs, and strengthen us in the times of tribulation. "Are they waiting for anything except the Hour, to come to them suddenly? But its Signs have already come!" (Qur'an; Surah Muhammad 47:18)

Present (signs):
11. Naked, destitute, barefoot shepherds will compete in building high buildings.

12. The slave-woman will give birth to her master or mistress.

13. A fitnah (tribulation) which will enter every Arab household.

14. Knowledge will be taken away (by the death of people of knowledge), and ignorance will prevail.

15. Wine (intoxicants, alcohol) will be drunk in great quantities.

16. Illegal sexual intercourse will become widespread.

17. Earthquakes will increase.

18. Time will pass more quickly.

19. Tribulations will prevail.

20. Bloodshed will increase.

21. A man will pass by the grave of another and wish he was in the latter's place.

22. Trustworthiness will be lost, i.e. when authority is given to those who do not deserve it.

23. People will gather for prayer, but will be unable to find an imam to lead them.


yes... I felt scared reading too but I have to remind myself that I'm not growing any younger everyday. There will be a time when my body will be weak and when that time reaches, being regretful will be wasteful.

V for Vendetta

A very strong movie. Acted pretty well by Natalie Portman who really cut her hair just for the part. Powerful play of words that sounds patriotic but at the same time I could feel the tinge of poetry in it. Somehow I find the similarity to Batman.
Throughout the movie, not once was the he unmasked.
I'll let the movie speaks for itself.

We all wear masks. Life creates them and forces us to find one that fits.

This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Supernanny

My 'lil bro was the one who alerted me on the show. We watched it last week and it was a good show.

Overview: Families with uncontrollable, intolerable and blatantly rude kids who stepped, stomped and literally kicked their parents are employing the supernanny's method to disciplining a child.

Supernanny: She has been in the business for 15 years and had seen the worst kinds of kids around. Her term is broken into 3 weeks.

Term: She will observe and make changes to the household during the first week. For the second, she will leave the family to try out her method without her supervision. For the last week, she will repair and tweak the method so that it is suited for the family.

After the term is over, the family will be on their own.

Just watching the show makes my blood boil. Imagine how the parents would have felt. Sometimes the parents get pushed to their limits that they break down, adding to the number of casualties that Jo Frost has to treat. At the end of it all, I realise it is all about working together, being patient, disciplined and thinking straight when facing with them. After all, they are just children. Well, the synopsis for next weeks episode proves to be a promising one, 4 children. Can't wait!

It's always the same... at the end of the day

LIGHTHOUSE FAMILY

"You Always Want What You Haven't Got"

It's like I just woke up one morning
Looked at the way that we live
Thought things could be so much better
There must be better than this

And if I relocated
To where the grass is greener
Maybe I'd be happy again
But I'm a little bit disappointed
Cos now I've got my freedom
But I'm still looking over the fence

It's always the same
At the end of the day
You always want what you haven't got

It's like the hands on the clock stopped turning
Right at the moment you left
You went looking for something better
You stopped me dead in my tracks

It's a bittersweet emotion
That I'm feeling baby, now you're happy again
But I'm a little bit disappointed
Cos now you've got your freedom

But you're still looking over the fence
It's always the same
At the end of the day
You always want what you haven't got

It's always the same
It won't ever change
You always want what you haven't got

Thought if I relocated
To where the grass is greener
Maybe I'd be happy again
But I'm a little bit disappointed
'Cos now I've got my freedom
But I'm still looking over the fence

It's always the same
At the end of the day
You always want what you haven't got

It's always the same
It won't ever change
You always want what you haven't got

You always want what you haven't got
You always want what you haven't got
You always want what you haven't got

Lighthouse Family

I suddenly thought of the song sang by the Lighthouse Family. Went back and dug out all my albums and finally got it. A few wonderful songs inside. Will post them for the next few days.

Lighthouse family: (I wish I knew how it would feel to be) Free/One.


I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
I wish I could say all the things that I should say
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear

I wish I could share
All the love that's in my heart
Remove all the bars that keep us apart
And I wish you could know how it is to be me
Then you'd see and agree that every man should be free

I wish I could be like a bird in the sky
How sweet it would be if I found I could fly
Well I'd soar to the sun and look down at the sea
And I'd sing cos I know how it feels to be free

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
And I wish I could say all the things that I wanna say
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear

One love one blood
One life you've got to do what you should
One life with each other
Sisters, brothers

One love but we're not the same
We got to carry each other Carry each other
One One One One One...

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free

The one that was in Rus handphone

Isn't this damn funny? Saw this in the MINDEF forum and laughed my head off.

Treetop on a Tuesday afternoon...

We were blessed with good weather when we made our ascend and descend during the whole trip to the treetop. For me it was my second time but it was Vin's first. Though humid, we were spared from the scorching sun as clouds rolled in to shade us.

Wildlife here are mostly hidden; they require you to take a closer look. Birds fly more swiftly, squirrels more camouflaged and flowers more variant. Dried leaves that are too heavy to be held by branches fall to create a mosaic pattern of browns that crumble under our feet.

The sight on the treetop took away all tireness that we had accumulated during our taxing journey there. We were rewarded with occasional breezes and birds in free flight. I couldn't ask for anything more rewarding.

That wraps up our 3rd fieldtrip for the month. Where will we go next?

I've really been neglecting my religion. Yes I do fast during the month or Ramadhan, yes I do pray at times (which is a no no) and yes I practise the teachings of Prophet Muhammad pbuh. But somehow my weakening emotions causes me to turn to the only help that I can get, God Himself.

http://www.answering-christianity.com/sci_quran.htm

It took me more than an hour to go through the articles but still have not completed them. I must caution that people from other religions may not prefer to read about this. I leave it up to them. But if you were to read it, read it when you are not deep in thoughts.

I personally learned more than I could comprehend. All this while rebutting that a person living 1400 years ago ( Our prophet) can understand all this. It's truly a miracle.

Maybe it was God's answer to me when I needed inner peace. For I am truly grateful to Him.

Maybe to you guys I'm babbling but this time I'm not. I know I'm not babbling.

All I could do is pray... do it with me

Went back to camp only to be fronted with people reporting sick from 5 SIR. All the reporting sick, endorsing of letters, BMIs and what-have-you. Luckily I only extended my help to the treatment room. S3 started the nonsense SOC and IPPT thing again. Whatever! 'Personally killing' has its effect but what the heck, if they aren't coming, so am I.

I got a reply from IBN... finally. After waiting anxiously for 2 weeks, with everyday seeing me opening my hotmail hoping for their mail, finally paid off. In their reply they said that they were considering my application and would like me to furnish them with my O and A level result. How forgetful can I get? Copied Suhaila's template for the resume and forgot to add in my results.
One out of three isn't that bad. We'll see how it goes.

I think I got some verbal disease... can't diagnose it exactly.

The Climb

It has been 2 weeks since our return from Thailand. It seems to pass by so slowly. And during that time a lot happened; some of them ORDed and Chandra went back to India. Also some minor things happened that I should not iterate here.

With only around 3 weeks till I'm released from service, time really crawls. Finding something to do daily is becoming a tough job. Take yesterday for example; I didn't do anything constructive. And today all I did was I went to my cousin's house to see her newborn baby boy. Oh ya and I went running. Maybe it was constructive after all.

Well... guess I'm going to rot for the next few days too.
Please drag me out of my couch.


NO DOUBT: The Climb

Step by step
I've come closer to reaching the top
Every step must be placed so that I don't fall off
Looking down to see about how much higher I am
Another cool wind comes through and brushes my skin
The harder I push the tension does grow
I gather my thoughts the further and further I go
With some luck I just might keep on climbing
So better to climb than to face a fall
So high the climb
Can't turn back now
Must keep on climbing up to the clouds
So high the climb Can't turn back now
Must keep on climbing up to the clouds

Pulling myself up by a rope
I better my view
The only thing in sight is what I must do
As I turned I could see myself falling
Which in return save me strength for the climb

So high the climb
Can't turn back now
Must keep on climbing up to the clouds
So high the climb
Can't turn back now
Must keep on climbing up to the clouds

Although many failed I must now prevail with no question
Have no time to stop
Onward to the top of the mountain
And I can't turn back now
Its so very high but I can't turn back now
If I keep it up, I'm gonna make it

I'm so very close can't you see
So high the climb
Can't turn back now
Must keep on climbing up to the clouds
So high the climb
Can't turn back now
Must keep on climbing up to the clouds
I'm getting closer



This final climb will prove to be tougher than I thought. To climb out into the CV world once again.

Under construction

Spent some time reading my past entries from the start.
And to think that I have been blogging for nearly 2 years and still have not ORDed. It's an amazing feeling!

NO DOUBT: Under Construction
(G. Stefani, T. Kanal)

His accent serenades me and presses at the door
Broken promise to be around for my mind war
And my accomplishment's interrogating me
Today's become tomorrow before I wanted it to be
And desperate discussions
The start of the destruction
Our sign, in my mind
I'll be fine
I'll be fine

'Cause I'm under construction everyone
So you'll have to mind the mess
I'm under some construction

I always had to try harder, I never really could keep up
Sitting in the corner with my illness and bad luck
But in this humble place I'm feeling like red wine
And I hope to get better with some time
I'll be fine
With some time
I'll be fine

'Cause I'm under construction everyone
So you'll have to mind the mess
I'm under some construction

Construction
Modification
Motivation
Of construction

And the rituals that soothe and disgust me will be gone
With some time
I'll be fine
With some time
I'll be fine
I'll be fine

I'm under construction everyone
So you'll have to mind the mess
I'm under some construction
I'm under construction everyone
So you'll have to mind the mess
I'm under some construction
Under construction
Construction
Feel better with some construction

Can't you see I was reluctant at first?

Met up with Tony for an early dinner at IMM. He still looks the same. Working in SGH now, his life must have been busy as a nurse. Interesting profession I must say; dealing with lives is never an easy task.
I have never felt embarrased towards a friend before but somehow it happened just now.

Trust me when I say I'm on the verge of breaking down once again.
Trust me when I say you might be there when I do.

And it did.

Trust...

Trust me when I say I've changed the way my blog looks.
Trust me when I say that my life is emptier.
Trust me when I say I'm on the verge of breaking down once again.
Trust me when I say you might be there when I do.

Finally went for run in the morning. So much for will power. Didn't ran far though... around 2+km. At least I did it. I will have to be consistent with this or the flab will return.
Went cycling with Vin at East Coast Park just now. $5 for 2 hours, really worth it. Many things had changed since the last time I visited ECP which was like years ago. Thank goodness I still could remember how to ride a bicycle.
As we coast along, the breeze, the waves, the birds chirping, the fresh air, all of them made me feel like I wasn't in S'pore at all. Like Vin said, it was like cycling along the countryside. At some parts, there wasn't anyone cycling but us so it provided a serene environment for me. I just seem to forget about my problems.
But in the end we had to rush back as the 2 hours wasn't enough for us. We made it back just in time.
It seems that my english is getting more f***ed up.
Now, my body is aching. My arms hurt, my calves tightening. It hurts.
And I saved the best photo for last.

What a tiring day it was. Woke up early and went swimming with Kel at Yishun. After going to CCK's swimming complex for like many times, I finally told him that I'll swim at his place. We ended up walking one big round as we went first to SAFRA but after seeing that the place is packed with screaming kids we walked to the Yishun complex. Will spare the details of the swimming ya.
Had lunch near the interchange, went round North Point. Ya that was it.
By the time I reached home it was around 3p.m.
Mum told me that Shahrizan called. That girl, lose hp, so difficult to contact. But thank goodness she called so the dinner was on. Who could resist saying no when someone is giving out gifts?
Met Lukmanulhakim there. Haha. Didn't expect. He was alone though. Expected him to be with girls. hehe. Since Swensen's was packed with the dinner crowd, we ate at Pizza Hut. And I ate damn alot there. I had Alfredo pasta and 3 slices of Pizza. And Suhaila said I getting fatter. Ya... I know.
Talked about JC days as usual, about our teachers, lessons and all that. Didn't know that our principal changed.
Handed out the souvenirs and finally finally gave Suhaila the brooched. Ya... it has been collecting dust for the past year. Just not in the mood to write. Getting damn lazy these few days. Have to go for a run tomorrow.

Today was just like any other day in the medical centre minus the ppl who ORDed and the 5SIR report sick. Mdm Kumz and James wasn't here today so I volunteered to be a good boy and come back to help them out.

The morning crowd was expected. I ended up taking 4 out of 5 blood tests. With some purting of course; first time for me. I was like OMG. Her friends was even more shocked than her. But I kept my cool, giving them the excuse that she pumped too much and the pressure was high. Isn't that the truth? OKOK babbling again.
Putting the medical centre issue aside.

I was touched by the gift. This is the part where I crack (if you get what I mean).

After the GSI inspection, I met up with Kel at Causeway. Did the usuals; visit the library, chat about stuff, commented on his changes. Ya... the usual stuff. Felt awkward going out in no.4 though. Haha. Well, will be going swimming tomorrow morning with him... but this time I'm finally going Yishun. Kel better not be late tomorrow...

Also on my agenda tomorrow is meeting up with Suhaila and Shahrizan for dinner at JP. Going to give them their souvenirs. And declare my desperate need for a job within the next month. Babbling again... Okok... going to crack now...

"Lesson 4: to listen...

Nanny McPhee was as mysterious as sparks coming out of a walking stick. Why she came? How does she know the names of the children? Where is she from? Is she a witch? The questions kept coming but the answers were nowhere to be found.

If you need me but do not want me, I will stay but
if you want me but no longer need me, then I will go.

How wise, Nanny McPhee.

When people say that there's nothing to do and see in Singapore, they obviously haven't been on one of my fieldtrips. Today was the National Library. Tall glass that provides unobstructed view of Suntec City, the Esplanade, PSA, SMU and Kallang. Bet the view is more magnificent during night time. Architecture and sceneries make me weak. I could just stare at it for the whole day.

Just where will I go next?

... is complete."

Misery loves company...
I've been living in my own cocoon, not wanting to mix around with others. I would prefer to walk around on my own.

Run away if we must

My mum would ask me why bother going out alone. I would just say that I prefer it to be that way.
Nevermind if there's no one to talk to, I could pop my mp3 player on.
Nevermind if there's no one to eat with, I could take away or better still save money and eat at home.

Then I find myself choking on all my contradictions

And as people cancels out on me, I don't ever cancel myself. Give myself time out, time alone as they call it.

All night long.... laid on my pillow... these things are wrong... I can't sleep here

Now I'm reading books on artwork and designs. I've never been the creative one. Poster-making scares me. Brushes just become leadless pencils. But somehow I'm braving myself to venture in areas I've never bothered.

To hell with what you're thinking

And soon I'm going out again... alone. Something just tells me to go alone. I have to do some shopping, buy myself some time maybe. But that's not it.

It's my life... don't you forget

My first of many...
Title: Welcome Mat
Theme: Black White
Current project: Fear Lies all in the Past



Title: Fear Lies
Theme: Black White:
Current project: Crosswords

Was spending my time alone today. Went for Friday Prayers and Az sms to say that he couldn't make it. Hmmm... nevermind, some other time then. When I told Yi Hua that I was bubbled and would be spending the day alone watching a movie, he told me that he is doing the time alone thingy also. Well at least I'm not the only one doing it.

After Friday prayers and after waiting for the bus that ended up being-packed-with-people-so-I-had-to-take-another-bus. Walking with no direction at JP wasn't new to me, I had done it a few times.

Caught Date Movie just now. With nachos in one hand and a big cup of ice lemon tea in the other, the usher had to practically take the tix from me as I had no free hand. Got the last row seat which was good. And the nachos... guilty indulgence. The cheese, warm and thick, had me licking my fingers even in the dark. Who cares about the calories. Back to the movie... let me rate it first. For plot and storyline, I give it 0 star. For comedy I give it 2 stars and for the number of parodies made I give it 5 stars. Here are some of the parodies made minus those I couldn't remember where they come from: Star Wars, Micheal Jackson, Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers, Pimp my ride, The Bachelor, Lord of the Rings, J Lo, Paris Hilton burger advertisement, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, Hitch, Britney and Justin, Kill Bill 2, Dodgeball, My Best Friends Wedding, You've Got Mail, Bridget Jone's Diary, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Castaway, King Kong, The Wedding Crashers and Carmen Electra. Not that funny actually, more of lame but got good laughes out of it.

They came back to do their clearance. Many of them in fact. Of course I feel happy for them. Isn't this the day that they have been looking forward to, more than anything else in the world. These people will be gone soon, not gone as in overseas but gone from me. Gone to do what they want to do after they ORD, never intersecting my life again. Just who will go and who will stay?

And the first batch of people will ORD. That is the truth.

I will still be in service. Service not just to the nation, not just because of the law but more importantly serving people. When people come in the medical centre, into the treatment room to get their blood sample taken, to get an immunisation, to get their visual aquity checked, to measure their BMI, to change dressing or just to ask for a plaster, I serve them. It has become my job, my duty for the past one year or so. I'm not ready for the emptiness.

And soon it'll be my turn. That is the truth

Just submitted the e-mail to IBN. So much questions to ask. Will my resume be acceptable? Will I even get the job? Never mind the working hours or pay; getting a job that you like is already a chore on its own. Soon the questions will take a different form. Will my pay be enough to sustain me through the month? Will I be able to save for my studies? Then when I enter NUS it will be a different set of questions. Will my parents be able to pay my fees? Will they be forced to work not just harder but longer? Army gives you clothes to wear, feeds your 3 meals, provides you shelter, gives you transport concession and gives you credits to purchase items. All that will be over in 1 month.

And I'll be waiting for the answers. That is the truth.

***

White...
purity... the teamwork
openess... the fun moments
absolute... the laughters

bliss...

All over, though they
remain as fond memories.
It's during these times,
yuo wished time would freeze.

Cherish these moments,
let it show.
Cos these temporary state,
may came a easily as they go.

ORDing will bring you more,
though they come in different forms.
But you'll be able to identify it,
cos it's comparable toa rose without thorns.

The line is thin


Black...
darkness... the misunderstandings
fear... the backstabbing
absolute... the hypocrtiticism

torture...

All over, though the
repercussions remain.
Binding you,
like a 1 tonne chain.

These moments just
make you wanna quit,
to just get away,
to declare that you've been hit.

ORDing may mean less of it,
but don't be deceived.
Though its frequency is reduced a bit,
its intensity have yet to be the worst you've received

The line is thin

WHICH ONE DID YOU GET?





White

A canvas
A creative artist jots
Paint your best picture,
as you picture in your thoughts.

Clouds, fluffy and huge.
Blessing the world when it showers.
Friendship as close as ours,
worth treasuring forever.

Memories so sweet,
skills unmatched.
Some things you learned here,
will still remain intact.

White

Black

Emptiness
Now there's a hole.
Where all the things you once did,
now all gone.
Time to find another goal.

Darkness
No light penetrates.
Once in a while
it'll be laden with spats.

Scars so deep.
From wounds that won't heal.
Banish them,
before they make you their meal.

Black

WHICH ONE DID YOU GET?

Look at the time... it's 0220 hrs and I'm still awake. Couldn't shut my eyes.
I don't even know why.
Maybe there's a lot of unfinished business.

Still have abt 15 more days of entry for febs ex crescendo.
Just completed one of the cards.
Haven't even started uploading the photos.
My duffel bag still in my room with junks inside.

Should I simply say all? Hell no!

***

Innocent little creatures.
Curiosity is their food.
Strong enough to break walls that we
ourselves can't.
Kids.

As sweet they can be,
as adorable as they look,
eventually curiosity lands them in trouble.

***

Kel was asking me why I bought a lot of cards and envelopes yesterday.
Black and white.
Finished Vin's.
Black and white.
Finished Kel's.
Black and white.
Bought a box at Prints which looks damn nice.
Black.
Too bad there was only one badge. Pity the cashier when I told her that I wanted three and she went to the rest of the 77th street shops in Far East when there was only one available.
Black and white.
Felt embarrassed when I bought just one paper from Popular bookstore that cost 45 cents.
Black.
Bought the smiley thingy. Smileys just makes me smile.
Black and white.
Bought a bag that looks cool.
Black.
Settled 2 out of 3 in just one day.
Black and white.

Back home at last.
What more can I say?

So what happened today...
bought mp3 player...
cried while watching hinokio...
you heard me...
cried because the story was so sad, especially towards the ending...
I was crying non-stop throughout the last 30 mins or so...
5 stars would be injustice to the movie...