The time has come..

for me to close this blog.

I have been planning this for a long time.. no doubt about it.

3 years of blogging.. it's now time to move on.

Never will there been a sadder goodbye,
than to part with an old friend,

the memories came surging,
forever etched in time,

looking back to those I left behind,
fighting hard to keep the tears.

Not easy, not easy at all,
but I guess only time will decide the wrong.

Never will there be a sadder goodbye,
than this..

Desperate Houseviwes: Beautiful Girls

"Dangerous men walk among us, and we can't always be sure of who they are or what secrets they hide. But once our worst suspicions are confirmed, we can take action. Once their agendas are revealed...we can take steps, to protect ourselves, and those we love. Yes, dangerous men can cause great harm. But sometimes the greatest danger they pose is to themselves."

...

It has been with me for so long. I can only take so much. I can only do so much. And now I just cry.

But why am I not feeling any better?

Is it the anger? Is it the sadness? Is it the loneliness? Or is it the fear? I really don’t know. Sobbing in between sentences, I just don’t know where I’ll go from here.

I’ve never cried as hard since my grandfather passed away last year. Then, there was a valid reason for it, I knew what those tears meant. Now, this tears.. I could see no purpose in them.

This past couple of months has been hard for me. Harder it still would be for the next couple of months. This is where fear comes in. Certainty has never been something I’m fond of. In a split second, anything can change. Indeed it has, if not there would be no problem in the first place. My fear comes from the uncertainty of the whole situation; plan A gave way to plan B and now I’m at plan C. Should I plan for D.. it would only be wise..

The loneliness of it stems from the fear. It’s something that I hide well. I really hate lying to people. When a simple ‘How are you?’ I answered as ‘fine’, I really don’t mean it. ‘Fine’ has lost me months ago. But yet fine is the only word I want people to hear. It blinds them of the troubles I faced, troubles that I just can’t explain with words.

But I will try to keep my faith strong. God tests us in ways that are maneageble to us and I believe in that. Putting on a brave front to confront the unknowns and my fears are just the first few steps of it. Curling up in the corner has never done any good for me in the past so I guess it’s time to change.

The tears are gone now.. but they’ll be back soon.

Cycling into sunset..

Went for the long overdue trip to the new road just outside my house. A long stretch of road, perfect for evening jogs and cycling. So today, I decided to take a trip with my sis.

so empty and serene..

sunset..

I love this photo the best.. must be the contrast..

Must Watch..

3 movies to look out for this month, Spiderman3, Pirates of the Carribean and Shrek3. Coincidentally, all 3 movies are the 3rd installments. So much for the 'bad things happen in threes' hypothesis.

I'm really afraid what this week will end up to be...

One for One

Mug mug mug.. that's the life for this 2 weeks. But that doesn't mean we can't take a break right?
Sat outside Spinelli's at 245, waiting for 3. Haha.. true blue Singaporean.. can't blame us for being patriotic..

***

Facing my 3rd language exam tomorrow.. for the people who helped me with memorising, recalling and correcting my flawed chinese, thanks..

Desperate Housewives: Children and Art

"There are so many things we wish we could tell the young. We'd like to persuade them not to grow up so fast, but they won't listen. We want to tell them that beauty fades, but they refuse to believe it. We warn them that their actions will have consequences, but still they defy us. Sadly, the young can't begin to understand the world is a dangerous place. So it's up to us to do anything we can to protect them. Absolutely anything."