Today I intended to write about the wonderful day I had; I went shopping for clothes, got more than I intended, met Cheah, met Benny and am going to have a late night supper later tonight at McD.

But I can't, I can't write any of these down, knowing that the day was the worst in my life.

To the people who knows what I'm talking about, my life just sank lower. When Vin told me to prepare for the worst, I told myself that I'll try.

Now I'm right here, in the 'worst'. And I folded like a cheap umbrella.

Ya Allah,
tolonglah keluarga ku.
Kepada Mu aku bermohon,
untuk mendamaikan mereka.
Kuatkanlah iman keluargaku.
Luruskanlah jalan kami yang penuh
lekuk ini.

Hanya Engkaulah yang dapat betulkan
semua ini.
Hambamu ini hanya dapat bermohon.
Ya Allah, selamatkanlah keluarga ku,
tangisan ku ini tidak dapat didengar
kecuali Mu, ya Allah.

Kepada Engkau aku bermohon.


After prayers, I found myself crying... tears I didn't want anybody to see.