Idealist vs Perfectionist

It all started with 'Am I an idealist?'

Yup, I can see when a big question is coming but not the question itself.

Had gym instead of badminton today as the court was packed with basketball jocks from both sexes. So probably body will be aching like mad tomorrow.

Don't exactly know how to start but yeah, it began with that question and sorta became one of the talks that I don't usually have with people.

It's weirdly pleasant to talk about philosophy, ethics, psychology and all things that makes people tick.

And as Toms and I were discussing about how complex life is right now, I can't stop thinking just how mature we've all grown, in one way or another. It was like resuming the talks that we use to have in the med ctr about life in general.

Some people avoid topics like these because thinking about these issues really drains a lot from you, seriously. Having to think of examples, recalling painful past or rejoicing pleasant ones really exercises your mind.

'As we grow, we hold one to many things, though we only have two hands. Things both animate or inanimate are what makes us whole, holding us to ourself. But at times, these things start to fall apart. And when it does, your whole structure starts to wobble. Inevitably, the things around you get affected as well; people get affected by your moods, you spend on impulse as well as other desires that you succumb to. But nature abide by the equilibrium law and before you know it, someone or something comes along to hold you steady by removing the source or stabilising it. And you start afresh, awaiting the next time something else falls apart.'

'As kids, we have only two boxes set aside for our thoughts, the right and the wrong. Don't kick people, greet your elders and others that parents drill into their children. And so we learn to categorise thoughts and actions into 'right' or 'wrong'. But as grow and mature, more boxes are placed. 'Right' and 'wrong' becomes 'right under these circumstance' and 'wrong according to them but not to me'. And before we know it, we have thousands of boxes like these where we place our thoughts. Each thought influenced by the people around us. And conflicts arise when people don't agree on the box where a specific thought is to be placed. This is when making a new box helps to simmer the situation. But knowing at the same time that your inventory is just going to give you more headaches.'

'Kids look at ants, adults step on them.'

I hope I'm making sense. Haha.

Toms asked me this just now, "what do you fight for in life?"
We have things that we fight against but what do we fighting for?

Ha... this just turns out to be one of the days when I'm philosophical...