Squeeze me tight

OMG! Where do I even begin saying what a cramp it's going to be this few days. Well the Army has done it again... ruined everybody's plans for the festive season by planning ridiculous activities that can at least wait after the holidays are done. Haiz... no use sulking, just have to put up with it.
Tomorrow going for range so will have to book in tonight... range on a SUNDAY! Didn't we like have zeroing last SATURDAY! What happened to the 5-day work week. 2 weekends burned in a row. WOW! It's becoming like the time we did Ops Iodine. Well at least there's the monetary reward to look forward to but since I'm a BOBO shooter... well, you know the money is out of reach but nonetheless I will try my best.
And the best part is there is IMT the coming Monday. Like hello, how do you expect us to go for IMT when we just came back from range the previous day (knowing range... it's probably the same day too). If there's IMT there is bound to be another range and I'm right! It's on the 7th November. Hari Raya mood is totally spoilt man! How to collect money like that (I still get some you know).
Urgh... Don't even know how to describe the feeling.

I haven't opened myself to my feelings other than trivial stuff but maybe it's time I pour myself out. It's a blog anyway... write what I please. Fear is the enemy and I'm going to conquer it. If it makes me feel better than it's worth it.
The name that has been in some of my entries is now going to be in again but for another reason. It used to be accompanied by going out for a movie, visiting each others house or just hanging out together but this entry it's going to be accompanied by pain, hurt, ignorance, and plain disappointment.
I don't want to mention the name. It hurts. The ignorance, the lies. It stays. You all know jolly well who I'm talking about. I don't know why I'm hurting myself this way, maybe because I'm the sort of guy who treasures friendship very much... I dare to say to the point where family sits together with it. Maybe he doesn't feels the same way I do but why ignore me. Am I dead? Am I invisible? I can still see myself. When I fell, why do you, who were there just staring? It's the others that saved me. Others... not you. Why? Ignorance is bliss? Now I think it's beyond repair... and you admit that I was trying to repair it by approaching you. Why didn't you help? It's all full of Why's now. All will remain unanswered. Now you wouldn't even look at me. Why? Embarrassed? Or am I giving you too much negative vibes that it's weighing down on your head so you can't look up. For I have to face you everyday I have to do this. The wounds just won't heal. It just won't

WHY?