Fourth Movement: Long notes

260905 8:36a.m
Woke up freezing today since it rained last night. Already packed my stuff for the 4D3N cover at Foxbat today.
Just wondering what it takes before someone start showing their true colours.
1. stress + peer pressure?
2. bottle of emotions that is broken by the slightest agitation?
3. fear + peer pressure?
4. time?
Fore me, I tend to notice that given time, one would definitely show their true colours and I'm speaking from personal experience. Nevermind, will continue this later.

260905 10:42a.m
Now resting in bunk getting psyched up for the cover later. Had roti prata earlier on, senior medic's treat, with Chandra. Although the taste was mediocre, it had at least satisfy one of my food cravings. Well, got to go take a shower...Day 6

260905 11:33a.m
As I sit here, looking straight at my past.
Long gone were the times when birds fly high.
The scar remains, of wounds that is deep.
The tries, the numerous tries, just seem to waste away.
Giving up has never been an option.
But lately, true colours began to emerge.
I observed from a distance, it now seems so clear.
What seems to be had never been
The more I think the less it means
For the chapter closes with sorrow and disappointment

260905 8:48p.m
My first night outfield. Bought dinner at a roadside stall paid by the driver. Lets recall what we had... burger, chicken wings, satay and chicken backside (thats right... backside). Sleeping now... will continue tomorrow.

270905 9:05a.m
Woke up nearly at 8 a.m. Even though I slept on the benches, I can confidently say that the sleep was good. Yesterday night was very dark and to worsen the condition, it was raining throughout the night. Can foresee that today is going to be a long day as Alpha Coy just started their Ex Nomad. I will be praying for Chandra's and Hann's safety as they join A coy for the exercise.

270905 10:53a.m
Had roti prata and teh for breakfast just now thanks to a kind-hearted captain who bought for us. Breakfast outfield is even better than breakfast back in camp. 3 more days outfield so will have plenty of time to reflect. Continuing what I have written yesterday... about true colours...
WARNING: It's going to be long

I have to admit that first impressions count. It is the basis in your
decision of wanting to communicate with the person. Usually first impressions
stay with us and serves as a guide as to how a person would react given a
specific stimuli.
For example, at first glance, you make friend s with a person whom you
heard of as being kind, helpful and also sympathetic. Naturally, you would
expect the same friend to behave that way towards other people. This, without
realising, will become the expectation you have for your friend.
As you get to know him/her further, you noticed that this becomes a trend,
which is good I must say.
Buts let say a newcomer enters your friendship circle. Your friend suddenly
retracts himself, behaving less than amiably toward the newcomer. You may
dismiss it as only an instance for he might have a good reason to do so.
However, deep in your mind and heart, you feel shocked. You, sad to say, have
been hit hard by the true colours of your friend. The next few actions that you
take are important in determining how hard you were hit by the 'colours'.
You confront your friend to bring forth what you experiences.
You take a step back and observe if it continues.
Either way, you have to keep an open mind to accept. More true colours may
come heading your way.
The example that I have laid down is not necessarily experienced by me. I
can only say that something similar happened to me. I was a victim of 'true
colours'. I took the first step and it was clear back then a nd everything was
resolved. Only after I followed the second step did I saw the whole picture. It
felt painful at that time. I was hit real hard.
'What seems to be had never been'
This was what inspired me to write the poem yesterday. Whatever the outcome
is, take this as a lesson. Grow to be a better person at the end of it, looking
back with no regrets.
For this chapter closes with sorrow and disappointment.

270905 8:00p.m
Turning in soon. Thinking what to write about tomorrow. Hmmm...got it... Expectations.

270905 8:56p.m
Looks like we will not be sleeping soon so I might as well write today. Here goes... pouring out of my mind.

Everyone has expectations, be it from an animate or inanimate object. Just
like a mother expects her newborn to be able to walk by a certain age, she
expexts the sun to rise everyday.
Expectations are formed, altered and dismissed all the time without the
person realising it. Some expections are instantaneous while others are
long-lived. What I am going to concentrate on is the expection one has with
regard to another. Suffice to say from an individual to another
individual.
A mother expects her son to grow up to be a successful businessman.
I expect a friend to arrive to arrivw on time and not be late.
Both examples are expectations a person has for another person.
Expectations gives a rough guide as to how you are going to decide on your
actions. Every action that you take will either bring you closer or further from
the expectations. However, some expectations may contradict each other. If this
is the case then you must decide on which expectation you want to fulfill.
For me, I have expectations for the people whom I am close with. A times,
these expectations will be fulfilled, others it may be altered or even
dismissed. So naturally, people will have expectations of me which I will try to
fulfill. Inevitably, some of these expectations contradict my own and it is
during times like this that I will have to dismiss one. I will try to give and
take to reach an agreement whereby both expectations have to be altered.
So as you can see, expectations may serve as a guide to your actions but at
times major conflicts may arise, leaving you to change the way you react to
stimulus.
It is up to you then to come up with a wise solution... either make it or
break it.