Third Movement: Relax and Rage

240905 8:35a.m
Now in the middle of the jungle with a signaller at Temada cpnering for Guided Navex. The journey from camp took 30 mins. The air is cool and the sun waiting to shine creates a perfect environment for some relaxation. The fog hanging on the mountains took away the height of it, making me think that it is a gargantuan breathing being. Haha... wild imagination huh?
All this view and surroundings and people really makes me think about how superior God really is; all the diversities of nature just makes one appreciate life even more. I feel a poem coming up...
Mountains up above;
the flowing river below;
gives peace of mind.
The hospitable people;
the culture we see;
gives peace of soul.
The clean, fresh air;
the breezes in the morn;
gives peace of body.
I know it sounds lame and so unprofessional but this is what I came up with in a small frame of 5 mins. It was created in the medical centre at 2:46p.m
The cover was not that bad; a typical cover but the difference is the landscape. In Brunei, the slopes are steeper, hills taller, roads longer and of course more insects to irritate you. 4th day in and I'm already spending a lot since the food served by the cookhouse sucks. Had not been eating at the cookhouse for 1.5 days already. Wonder how is everything back in Singapore. By the time we go back to Singapore, it will already be the fasting month. Do not know if I can survive the first few days fasting in Brunei. It just brings me to tears thinking about the next 2 weeks ahead. This has got to be the longest I have spent away from home. Well now there is nothing to do, maybe I should work on my bed...

240905 7:00p.m
Report sick parade now from 7:30p.m to 9:30p.m. So far has seen a few cases but none that is really serious. Come to think of it., I really miss working in the medical centre back in Singapore. I am actually not at ease of mind at all. Even all the way to Brunei, my existing problems still haunt me but I shall not let it bring my morale down. At times I really feel like telling paople off but I have come to learn and calm myself down. I have to tell myself that if ever I feel like I might blow up any second, I have to refer to an entry titld "read this... over and over..." to calm myself. I just hope I can survuve myself as entertainment is kept to a minimum. My imagination is running wild...
In this place I hid myself, whenever things may turn ugly.
When all else fails and hopes slim down,
this place, my retreat, takes all the fears away.
Anger, disappointment and tireness, are signs to heed, I soon may break.
Bring myself back to this place again, so that I will recover from the pain.

250905 12:57p.m
Lunch today was good, we had chicken rice. Missed all the home-cooked meals like lauk lemak, rojak bandung and even simple dishes like mee goreng and nasi goreng. Called home just now using Chandra's phone. Talked to my mum for a while and learnt that everyone at home is fine. That is a relieve. Will call home again soon... maybe when we near landing. Feeling very sleepy now but it is more humid and hot in the bunk than in the medical centre so I think I will be relaxing in the medical centre.

250905 7:08p.m
Thinking about what I would be doing if I was back in Singapore. The following list is from the things I miss the most to the least.
1. family - so obvious!
2. food - especially home-food...competing fiercely with family
3. friends - all that I left behind
4. music - how quiet my life is now...
5. games - maple especially
6. keyboard - I think my skills went down the drain
7. blogging - leaking what is inside my mind and heart
8. Singapore - the weather, the unpredictability...
Only 2 more weeks before we will be back in Singapore and continue with the fasting month. Will update the "miss" list by next week. Have been SMSing Azri for quite a number of times this few days. Good to hear that he is feeling okay. After all the things he told me, I began to appreciate him as a good friend. =)

250905 10:02p.m
Heard that a grandfather of one of the storeman just passed away today. This incident struck me directly at the heart since my grandfather was just discharged from the hospital early last month due. He was diagnosed with colon cancer. Even if he were to undergo surgery, it would hace a 50% success rate. So he opted not to go for the operation. I called home earlier today and was told that everything was alright. I will just have to pray that he will enjoy and make full use of his final days. He is a religious man so... it speaks for itself. Let him come to see the coming Ramadhan.